[caption id="attachment_381" align="alignright" width="332" caption="Actual whiteboard from FARSCAPE "Season of Death""]An actual whiteboard from an actual TV series.[/caption]

BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Picture, if you will, perky young Mary Sue, an aspiring TV writer who's celebrating her first sale. She pitched a dozen ideas to veteran genre-TV producer Sam Showrunner for his new series Space Slayers, in which a ragtag team of teenage misfits travels the galaxy and battles alien mutants. But Mary Sue's enthusiasm will soon be tested; she has no idea what terrors await in... The Writers' Room.

Mary Sue's successful pitch:“Griff and Angela [the series leads] must mind-link with K'Vax [their sentient, Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado, female, wisecracking spaceship] after a radioactive nebula erases K'Vax's memories.”

There was more to her pitch – such as the mind-link forcing the aloof Griff and Angela to confront their true feelings about one another – but Mary Sue never got that far; Sam had interrupted. “Good hook, Coreg pharmacy, but amnesia's soft. Needs more jeopardy, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Hey. What if the nebula turns K'Vax evil. And she tries to kill everybody on board. So it's dangerous for Griff and Angela to go into her mind; they might never come out, Coreg 625mg,650mg. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Terrific pitch. Sold!”

Mary Sue was ecstatic. “Great. I'll write up an outline –”

“We don't do outlines. Coreg 50mg, We – me and the writing staff – break all our stories in the room. Once we get the structure down, you go off and write the script, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Come in Tuesday at nine. Bring in a beat sheet. Not an outline, just the big moves, comprar en línea Coreg, comprar Coreg baratos. Some rough act breaks. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Keep it simple. One page, tops, Buy generic Coreg, just to get things started.”

And so it begins...

9:00 am Tuesday. A punctual Mary Sue happily looks around her first Writers' Room. Cheap, mismatched “executive” chairs surround a coffee-stained table strewn with old magazines, food wrappers, a Slinky, Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a broken water pistol, various Rubik's-type puzzles, and other toys. Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, The walls are a crazy quilt of actors' headshots, set blueprints, costume design sketches, test photos of alien prosthetics... and three large whiteboards, Detroit, Michigan, San Jose, California.

Two are covered with multicolored scrawls, circles, arrows, renumbering, and crossouts – the story beats for Episodes 5 and 6, in impenetrable shorthand: “5, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BRIDGE: G + A expo. K ng 10 min no Froonium. H/L payoff. Buy cheap Coreg no rx, AB: J zapped.” The third is frighteningly blank – a naked canvas awaiting a plot. It continues to await until:

9:40 am. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Two writer/producers saunter in: Madman Moe, a cheerful, inexhaustible fount of wild ideas, and Cyndi Cynic, a jaded naysayer who's great at untangling plot logic. They get coffee and make phone calls until:

10:15 am. Sam Showrunner dashes in. “Sorry. Problem on the set.” To Sam's surprise, Mary Sue proudly hands him a fifteen-page outline, Coreg 500mg. “Wow. Lot of work here, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Good for you.” He glances at the first page, tosses it aside forever, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, and hands her a marker. “It's your story; you do the honors. Ready. Teaser's easy. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Fly through nebula, ship sparks, life support screws up. Act One –”

Sam stops, Coreg 5mg. Mary Sue's still neatly printing “TEASER” on the whiteboard. “Just put a 'T',” Cyndi suggests. San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, “Then put 'Nebula, sparks, life support NG.”

“Act One, Beat One,” Sam continues, 400mg, 450mg. “Ramon runs diagnostics, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Technobabble. Thinks he's found the problem. Fixes it. Coreg snort, alcohol iteraction, All seems okay. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Beat Two. Spooky stuff begins. Suspense. Scary noises. Like a horror movie, purchase Coreg online. So.., BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. hmm... Maybe Trixie's below decks. Alone. Rx free Coreg, What's she doing?”

“Taking a shower,” Moe offers. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, “With Angela. And suddenly the lights flicker and the water turns cold.”

“That's good.” Sam turns to an aghast Mary Sue. “Put that up. T and A, Indianapolis, Indiana, San Francisco, California, shower, lights.”

“Can't do that,” says Cyndi, Where can i order Coreg without prescription, to Mary Sue's relief. “I've got Trixie showering with Ramon in ep 5.”

Moe's unfazed. “So make it the sauna.”

“What sauna?”

Sam likes it, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. “The Cargo Bay, redressed and smoked up. That sauna.”

Cyndi considers, buy no prescription Coreg online. “We could do different color smoke because K'Vax is pumping in poisonous coolant gas or something.”

Sam's enthused. “Great. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, We're rolling now. We'll be done by six, Kjøpe Coreg online, bestill Coreg online, easy.”

6:45 pm. Act One has seven beats on the board, Act Two has five, Three and Four are still blank, and nobody likes any of it. “It's flat, order Coreg online c.o.d,” says Sam. “Bland and boring.”

“Excuse me,” quavers Mary Sue. Order Coreg no prescription, “But I, um... have a thought...”

“Jump right in,” says Sam, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. “It's your story.”

“Well... maybe Beat Two should be a character scene with Griff and Angela... because we need to set up their unexpressed feelings for each other...”

All stare at her, buy Coreg no prescription. “We do. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Why?”

“Um... because later, when they mind-link with K'Vax, Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina, they confront their feelings and realize –”

“In episode seven?” Sam's incredulous. “Not a chance. Besides, this story's already way too soft. We need conflict, online buying Coreg. Drama is conflict.”

Mary Sue's getting crabby, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. “Well, what I pitched had lots of conflict. Internal conflict.”

“This is TV, San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, not some romance novel. I want external conflict. Action. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Danger.”

Mary Sue snaps. “Well, if K'Vax turning evil isn't enough danger, japan, craiglist, ebay, hcl, why don't we just throw in some nasty aliens with guns?”


“She's nailed it,” says Cyndi. Buy no prescription Coreg online, “Problem is, we're missing a villain.”

Moe concurs. “Evil K'Vax is great, but our heroes have to cure her, not kill her, which means they don't get to defeat a bad guy.”

Sam nods. “But if a Gavork spy sneaks on board and brainwashes K'Vax, now we've got two problems – and somebody to fight in Act Four.” He slaps the table, BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. “That's it. Solved. Okay, everybody go home and think about it and we'll finish this tomorrow. Nine o'clock sharp.”

It'll take four more days of this to break Mary Sue's story. BUY Coreg ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Ultimately, Ramon, not Angela, will join Trixie in the sauna, to follow up on their shower scene in ep 5. Oh, and the mind-link with K'Vax will indeed force Griff and Angela to confront their feelings for each other – but once the mind-link's over, they'll forget it ever happened.

Mary Sue will grudgingly concede it's a cleaner, punchier story than the meandering fifteen pages she came up with on her own.

And then she'll have two short weeks to turn it into a script that makes it all work... but that's another tale.

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  1. Mysterious Stranger says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say the whiteboard is from Farscape. But I have no clue what episode. If the picture was bigger and I could read it I’d get it for sure. So I’ll hazard a guess and say… Season 2, Crackers Don’t Matter. Either that or Season 1 Jeremiah Crichton, the best episode of Farscape EVER.

    Oh and I can’t wait for the continuing adventures of Mary Sue and the Writer’s Room.

  2. Straycatt says:

    Okay, I can confirm it is Farscape. The characters listed give that one away. As to which episode, I would love for it to be Crackers don’t mater, but I don’t thin k that is it. If I am reading the abbreviations correctly, the the recap starts with Scorpius joining Braca and Grayza.

    I am going to say Into the Lions Den part II: Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.

    I would be able to say better with a larger image of the white board.

    Looking forward to seeing you next weekend.


  3. grapeshot says:

    Gosh, the resolution on that picture is too low for me to be able to read anything on that board. I can make out the characters’ names in the upper right hand corner, which means it’s for an episode of Farscape. But that’s all I’m able to read.

  4. bronwyn says:

    I’m a sucker for a puzzle.

    Based on the character names, it’s not only Farscape, but happens within a specific time frame because it looks like Jothee, Stark, and Zhaan are all in it (and Talyn and the Scorpy clone are definitely in it).

    In the bottom right hand corner, there’s a comment about someone “Dying?!” in the tag of the episode.

    I’m inclined to say it’s end of s2/beginning of s3. If I had to pick something, I’d probably go with DMD, but hell if I can remember how that episode starts.

  5. Mysterious Stranger says:

    I’ve got it. Season 3 premiere… Season of Death. I wanted to say Die, Me, Dichotomy but the parts I can read suggest its the next episode. So, Season of Death. Final answer. Now what did I win?

    • Oh, sure, on your third guess. My bad for not making a “one-guess-to-a-customer” rule, but… okay, you get a PRIZE! Which is, um, lessee here… how about a GENUINE RARE MAMBO LOUD SHIRT tag? That, and a Signed! Copy of a Season of Death script. Take your pick. Are you going to the (Formerly Burbank) Farscape Con next weekend?

  6. Courtney says:

    i believe it is the season of death. because it says crichtons surgery and talyns fight at the end. trying to kill scorpious. if im not right i swear lol..i just looked at this picture in like 40 different ways trying to get some info out of it.

    • WE HAVE A(nother) WINNER! (I should’ve disqualified Mysterious Stranger for multiple guesses, or for being a Froonium impersonator, but what the hey.) Yes, indeed, you got it, and for the right reasons, so choose your prize (same as above, and I’ll also throw in some more miscellaneous Farscape crud if I can access the Sekrit Archives)… I see you’re on Twitter, so send me a private tweet there with a name & mailing address, and Thanks For Playing!

  7. FS1 says:

    Yup, I’d say SoD too…Jothee was only in 7 eps, and the only two heavily featuring a surgery, Tocot, and Grunch’lk are DMD and SoD…

  8. Courtney says:

    man i seriously didnt see that mysterious stranger had said that already. ughhh all that work for nothing.

    • Not for nothing. I believe you. Farscape fans are utterly trustworthy (well, except the Brits and the French, of course. And the Kiwis. And the Western Australians. Other than that…)

      • Lee Stewart says:

        I typed my reply, went to have a beer, then came back and hit submit. Don’t ask me why I didn’t hit submit first, but that beer issue really needed to be addressed.

        • So evidently D’Argo was wrong, and there is not always time for beer!

          • Lee Stewart says:

            The problem was the beer had friends and they all ganged up on me. Since I’m a winner (clearly I’m the only person here that’s taking care of the beer surplus problem), can I ask for a prize?

            I’d like hear the *prequel* to the Writers’ Room tale. Can you read us the story about how Little Mary Sue met and impressed big scary Sam Showrunner and was able to pitch 12 (eeep! is that normal?) story ideas?

            For the next contest, I’ll keep an eye on things better, refresh my screen, floss, etc.

            • Well, you can ask… (But hold not thy breath…)

              Yeah, sometime (notice I don’t say “sometime soon“) I’ll have to relate the prequels in the Mary Sue saga… how she wrote several spec scripts on her own for all sorts of series, got good enough to land an agent with ’em and catch the eye of someone on Space Slayers who then said “sure, we’re looking for new talent, let her come in and pitch,” etc.

              She came in with a dozen ideas — some fleshed out in detail, some just “arenas” (story hooks) — and didn’t actually pitch all 12. The first two got shot down quickly because Sam and the staff already had something(s) similar in the works (happens all the time); the third just didn’t turn Sam on (“A time travel paradox? I hate time travel paradoxes!”), but the fourth hit the jackpot. (And even though the first three didn’t sell, they were developed well enough so that Sam & Co. could see that Mary Sue truly knew the series, so they were already favorably inclined to hire Mary Sue by the time she got to a pitch Sam liked.

              • Lee Stewart says:

                That’s a happy story, thanks! Lee Newbee is following in Mary Sue’s footsteps, writing award-winning spec scripts and looking for a chance to get his foot in the door.

                My new writing goal: 10 spec scrips in 2010!

  9. Lee Stewart says:

    Clearly it’s Farscape, not so clearly it’s the first episode of Season 3? I’m just guessing based on the last line, looks like the tag is Zhaan dying? Seems that happened when she saved Aeryn.

  10. Courtney says:


  11. Courtney says:

    i seriously just died that i got this right!!!!! i stared at that picture ever since you sent that tweet about no one getting it yet. i wrote down everything i could think of that i could read. and since my farscape was deleted when my computer crashed i had some friends help remind me when ppl died. and then i looked up episode guides. i seriously went crazy over this lol. i tried to explain it to my mom and she said you might as well be speaking japanese to me cause i dont know what your talking about xDD

  12. Courtney says:

    YES anything else farscape you want to send my way DOOOO IT!!! cause of school i cant go to the frelling farscape con. i wish i could but i have friends on twitter going and they are going to keep me updated the whole entire time. 😀 im so happy!!!

  13. mangababe says:

    I’ve been staring at that white board for far too long… it Farscape S2- Liars, Guns and Money, Part 3: “Plan B”?

  14. mangababe says:

    Ugh….clearly I should have bothered to hit “refresh” before typing. *face palm*

    • No worries. Next time I throw a contest, I’ll actually think it through first. Maybe moderate all comments so nobody sees anyone else’s responses so everybody can play, and then I’ll pick the prizewinner either by first correct post, or by random drawing from all correct posts, or by utterly arbitrary whim…

  15. Courtney says:

    thank you for still letting me be a winner. because i didnt refresh my page so i didnt see what he had said before until i refreshed my page to see if i had posted it correctly. thanks for the contest 😀

  16. FS1 says:

    Heyyyy…why is it now from ‘Mind the Baby’? It was Season of Death! That’s wrong! :-p

  17. Steve says:

    I REALLY need to check your site more often. But I’m only 11 days late.

  18. Straycatt says:

    Sorry you weren’t at the con more, you got pretty swamped on Sunday by longtime fans and cast members from what I saw. Oh, and the wife told me you tried to make off with my daughter in a Mombo bag … Bad Ricky … 😛


  19. Steve says:

    Not have any big idea write now.

  20. RitziCortez says:

    Well, this has just put me off going near any kind of writers room for a few years!

    Fantastic insight into how it all works though 🙂


    ps, (apols for the cliche but I’m going to say it anyway) Frickin love your work Ricky x

    • Oh, come on in. The writers room is a Friendly place. Really. Honest. Mary Sue is almost completely healed. In fact, she’s now running a writers room of her own (and constantly beating up her staff about Not Having Enough Conflict). (sings) Cir-cle of liiiiife…

      Thanks for the comment and the cliche!

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